It was at the age of five, when it became clear that she would not be followed by a brother, that he became more distant towards her and stopped adoring her. Arrived in England, she had sought out Gosse, to keep an eye on his activities and thus keep one step ahead of him, meanwhile hoping that she might find herself another means of proof at Remenham House. Its walled heaved with black mildew and sea-salt. How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? She came upon the Song of Songs—which had been pasted down in the Enschede Bible—the burning litany of love; and from time to time she intoned some verse of tender lyric beauty. Each was draped in transparent silk, dancing, beckoning to me, teasing me. Sit down, I command you. Perhaps, as you say, I do not really care—but I cannot do it. Her father became much less distant towards his only daughter in the days that followed. But the world didn’t do that.
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